On September 2nd (give or take) I arrived in Los Angeles, pulling into an area called Silver Lake where I would spent my first official night on the couch in my friend's apartment. Dropping my bags on the floor, I had no more sat down and poured a drink than an earthquake hit (true story - look it up). It didn't last long, merely 10 seconds or so, shifted the floor back and forth a few times and then was over.Eight days later, my then and current roommate and I signed the lease on our first apartment and proceeded to celebrate and get very drunk - waking up the next morning to the worst possible morning to have a hangover in 2001. Sitting in an empty apartment in North Hollywood and sleeping on the floor, the next several weeks passed without any movement, earth, job or otherwise. Hey kid, welcome to L.A.
Since then over five years have passed and in that time I've had no less than 20 different jobs added to my resume, none of which have lasted longer than 6 months. No one really understood it, but whenever I started a new job, one that I perceived as a long term gig, I could speak of it being "over" in a date not far off. Freelancing was the name of the game and I learned to be quite a good player. Jumping movie to movie, show to show, gig to gig, I trudged my way through this industry making the most of my extended time off between jobs. I eventually secured health benefits when I joined the union, but there was never really any certainty in my life, at least not when it came to jobs. And the truth of it was, I was alright with that.
But something happened, and as cliche as it may sound - a death always makes you take a different look at what you're doing, what you're striving for. I was no different, and when I took a look I realized I was bored, unchallenged and growing restless with an industry that I wasn't ready to give up on. It frustrated me, angered me and drove me to try and figure out that greatest question of all - "what do you want to do!?!?" Since I can remember dialing my friends phone numbers myself, I can remember wanting to making movies. That's why I'm here in L.A. (a place I still don't love) working in an industry that generates successful unhappy people (something I fear of becoming) chasing a dream.
So when this last movie finished, and I found myself with nothing but opportunity staring me in the face I did something unbelievable - I took a job here in L.A. - a job that doesn't have an end date, a "real" job with paid vacation days, human resources and god...really?.....a retirement plan!?! (I thought that was something that only existed in movies and TV). With nothing in front of me, and everything a possibility I stayed with what I've known for the past 15 plus years, the movie business. I took a job , yes a "corporate job," working for a new studio that is just starting up a production department. It is a job without an end date, with a yearly salary and benefits, and a job that I could very easily be at for the next several years. It's a great job, a great opportunity and I'm very excited for it.
So yes, the rumors are true, freelancing Steve has gone corporate. HOWEVER - I want to set a few things straight. 1.) This doesn't mean I'm going to stop the creative drive or dream - far from it. If anything, this job will only better my position for advancing the scripts I'm writing and the ideas and aspirations that I have. 2.) This doesn't mean that I'm planning on calling L.A. my home for good. Sweet god no! This place is a means to an end, and I hadn't gotten close enough to that end yet, not close enough to leave. So I'm still here. 3.) I am not - I repeat - I AM NOT going to become a corporate stooge. I still plan on going out on school nights, skipping out on work for much more important things such as senseless travel with close friends, finding any excuse to spend time with family and close friends and working on that ever growing list of things to do while I have the pleasure of being on this planet.
Truth is, I needed a new challenge and for a while I thought that hunger would be best served by physically moving. But I'm not ready to leave this place yet, blame a young kids dreams but I'm not ready to walk away from this industry at this time in my life. So instead I'm taking a new, different and what will no doubt be a challenging job in hopes of it infusing some life back into that grand moving making idea.
If you ever take a close look at my cell phone, right above the date on the main screen there is a saying that I still believe, and strive to live by - "no regrets." So yes, the rumors are true, Steve has gone corporate and won't be leaving LA for a while, but no I'm not changing, I'm not going to buy into the whole Hollywood bullshit scene and I'm not going to lose sight of what is Hollywood smoke and mirrors and what is real. I know all to well that if that ever started to happen that the people that are reading this would knock me straight back into line.
"it's only life after all"
